***
i want to wake and still be with him.
he finds me no matter which dream room i pick. beautiful him. his face draws so close to mine that i can smell his vanilla breath. a tingly feeling reminiscent of girly, wistful love runs through every centimeter of me as he kisses my back and it tickles.
sometimes, when he sees me it’s after another day of heart break by another monster and he doesn’t say anything. he smoothes away the tangles in my hair and he lets me cry until i can’t. then, he lifts up my head from his chest and tells me he’s in love with me. he says it over and over again and my brown cheeks flush with joy.
he doesn’t talk about his day life but often when i see him his mocha skin has breaks in it like he’s been beaten. i wipe his knuckles clean with alcohol and kisses. he rests his head against my stomach, listening to its rumbling and my soft singing to him, and i feel the anger slowly leave his body.
sometimes, we just sit, too numb to engage, our backs leaning against each other. we read or listen to music or play separate hand held video games. the silence slowly dissipates with his laughter. his bright, eruptions of laughter at my silly, random jokes feel like home. he clutches my face and kisses me. pieces of his laughter drift through my lips and recess in the vacancies in my heart. i feel what happiness must feel like.
we try to stay together, to stay asleep, but fighting to stay asleep becomes as painful as fighting to stay awake does when you’re tired. we never get to say good bye; we wake up alone.
-lissa
January 24th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
how do you say hug with emoticons? {} ? well, that. :)
February 11th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
The good thing about these dreams……Is the fact that once you wake, you can go in the real world, and find this, then you won’t have to wake.
February 12th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
yes but who knows? maybe there’s another world/dimension — a dream world — where you can meet people as well.
April 23rd, 2008 at 4:59 pm
very interesting piece, i loved/hated it… hahaha let me explain. i loved the writing, the structure, the vivid account. but i hated the reality of it, the truth in it.
i hated being able to relate to it and knowing that feeling. the striking truth is i cannot disconnect myself from that very same situation. horrible.
but hey, it’s the power behind the words that makes writing a wonderful
thing.
i really enjoyed it :)
April 23rd, 2008 at 5:01 pm
makes me wonder if a dream boy exists somewhere.
April 23rd, 2008 at 5:03 pm
it was so well-written. you’re really talented.
April 23rd, 2008 at 5:04 pm
good job!
July 8th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
what a stunningly tender and beautiful vision this is.
September 15th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Lissa, you capture so well the dream of divine love, and the waking dream of not being able to sleep forever. Lovely writing.